is how she managed to act, utterly composed
is how others would remember her acting, fiercely
attempting external calm is how I envision her acting
while her insides churned
while her insides churned as mine most surely do, imagining
the lieutenant rifling through her most private of papers
on things that were not limited to, but indeed included,
private grades, private thoughts, and not-so-private outbursts
things not limited to her time and place as a girl, but applicable
to my time and place as well
as yours
she remained quite unlike the frolicsome little goat tugging at its tether image
an image she would (famously) choose to pin to herself, in critical contemplation
perhaps others now see her as such
though I see her simply as Anne
and as me
she remained still, hands at her sides as
letter after letter to Kitty fluttered down
to rest on the floor
the rest, as the history books note of her notes, is history
the rest, as my diary notes of her notes, is my history